• person with a big dick: I wanna touch ur heart......from the inside



cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call


(via ipreferthedrummerr)

I loved you first.

(Source: kissuki, via armrinarlert)

boys like it when youre playfully mean to them. call them names. punch them on the shoulder. murder their families 

(Source: iloveyoulikekanyeloveskanye, via ipreferthedrummerr)